The birth of an atheist pt. 1

I am already writing my own opinions about the religion, what are my experiences, etc. First of all, i was raised in catholic family. I come from small town, where the church was always right and vicar was the most clever person in the town. Still I'm atheist now. I'm not the only one to turn to atheism despite being raised catholicaly.

First of all, I've never been thinking about God and how did it all begin etc. I was a child. Children have other more important stuff to do, like bike crash, fighting with other kids, playing games, breaking windows, shouting, crying, not behaving and anything you did, when you were a kid. I was reading encyclopedies also, so I was sure at very early age, that the world was created by big bang. Although I was teached, that God created this world, it never came to my mind, that those theories contradicts. Well, even today there are people, who also say, that world was created by big bang, but the one to create big bang was the God, so it kinda maybe makes sense. And when I was a small kid, it was not so important to me, I actually hadn't had a chance to confront those two models (creationism and big bang) yet, until I was 8.

At this age I attended some church meeting, where the vicar begin to speaking about God creating the world. I raised objection to christian "authority" for the first time, saying, that I've read, that the world was created by big bang and life and humans by evolution(I've read so much, when I was a child, so I already at least knew these two theories and the very very very basics of those concepts). The vicar has never answered my objection, he called me "walking encyclopedia" instead, continueing about God's business. Again, I wasn't much bothered by this act, since he changed the topic so early, I couldn't think much about it. Only after a few years I've found out, what was this act about. Of course, he surprised by such objection didn't want to argue with me, since there were parents with us at those sessions at church, so he could get embarassed even more. By this act were my parents happy, their child being inteligent. But on the other hand, that's because my parents really aren't very inteligent.

Still i continued to attend the church, not thinking too much about it. Just remember, how important things were on my mind back then. You really wouldn't argue, those are more important for such child than some chit-chat arguments with people, who believe, that Big Brother whatches over us. So I just ended up reading more and more books and doing more and more kid's stuff. Then I was 10 and I had the oportunity to choose between religion class or ethic class. I wanted to try something new, and although my parents weren't very happy about it, I insisted and since I argumented I just want to try something new(which sounds very reasonable, but a little too advanced thought for 10 years old child), noone ever wondered. And noone blamed me for blahspemy and I alone still attended the church. I went to that ethic class for the first time in my life and it was nothing like any of thous religion classes. It was the best class ever, since there weren't many people in that class(remember, I come from small christian town), so there were even older students in that class. And it was just great.

We moved to another(bigger) town however. I still attended the ethic class, not the religon one, because, that first class just left great impression on me. Very quickly I started to realize I don't completely believe in God. Not even knowing much about atheism, not noticing, what not believing in God means before, I was in complete new world. My family began to worry about me. But my younger brother followed me in my atheistic way. He is the type, that follows people. I quickly estimated myself as being the followed one(stalking rules thought). So, yes. He really didn't care if there is a god or anything. He just followed, what he was said by his idols, then it seems, I was one of them and I influenced his "belief". I don't know, why it's started to bother me. Why I just came to those questions.. Where is the God? Why bad things happen(especialy, why they happen to me, right? )? Why to hope for afterlife? And these questions and other as well came up eventualy.

Searching the answer really wasn't hard. I had the answer with me already, read from all those books I've read. So I just had my answers from what I already knew. It was reading those books, what changed my point of view, after all. I think, that's the case. Yeah, I'm pretty sure. It's funny, how my parents just couldn't give me answer for so many things and I was the one answering my questions, answering my questions even to them. Like I said, my parents aren't very clever, they've never been. They even happened to give me some "adult" questions at the age of 6. No, not sexual, financial. I was actualy thinking about money in very simple pattern, which remained in me even until now. That's been a usefull one.

So I´'ve finally began to take another points of view, getting another opinions, ideas, which ended up in very complex system. I think I want to continue this, but I'll cut it here and you can read the rest in other entry(ies). That'd be all for now, so see you next time, good bye.